Pruning and Endings

Bringing out the best in flowers, especially roses, requires the painful practice of pruning. Pruning is the act of cutting back. It is the proactive decision to limit growth. It is the aggressive severing of branches, blooms and beauty for the health of the whole. It is about ending something to allow something new to blossom in greater beauty. It is accepting the present pain for the betterment in the future.

While we sit in our houses confined to social distancing many of us are frozen in fear and panic, confused about how the greatest intellectuals, the most powerful, the wealthiest could not have planned for such a time as this.

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April 2nd, Autism Awareness Day

April 2^nd is World Autism Day.  This day aims to put a spotlight on hurdles that individuals with Autism and others living with Autism face every day.  Although, I may be a therapist at Bayridge, I am also a parent of a child with Special Needs.  Parents, I understand, not because of my training in my field, but because I live those hurdles daily- along with you.

I understand the exhaustion of having to constantly think outside the box so our children can cope in new or difficult environments.  I understand the strength needed to advocate for services or tools to have their needs met.  I know the struggles associated with lack of funding for respite and the lack of available respite. I know the comfort of a support circle of people that truly understand the hurdles our families endure.

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Job Loss After 40, This Was Not Supposed To Happen

Yes, these are apparent and random thoughts that may arise when individuals, in the middle mark of life, find out that they have lost their job.

Some would say, “What’s the big deal?   Shrug it off and start retirement early.”   Hold on a second.  The famous developmental stage theorist, Erik Erikson, indicated that, between 40-65, the basic virtue is care, and the subsequent psychosocial crisis is Generativity vs. Stagnation. 

Generativity carries with it the idea that adults at this stage of life want to create something so impactful, that it will outlast the inventors.

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10 Tips to Survive Christmas with Family

I love Christmas.  I love the decorations.  I love the music… minus “Feliz Navidad,” which is arguably the worrrrst song of all time.

Christmas music is heartwarming.  Unfortunately, not everything is great about Christmas, especially if you’re not a fan of your extended family whether yours or your partner’s.  Below is a list of ways to help you survive Christmas with family this year, but first let’s consider five positives of having to visit people we don’t want to see:

1. It’s good to be pushed outside of our comfort zone from time to time.

2. It’s a great chance to practice boundaries. I’ve worked with clients where being with family pushed them to know  when to stand up for themselves in a loving way (aka being assertive) as well as addressing the gift giving rules to reduce waste and potential hurt.

3. It’s a chance to practice our conversation skills, and to know how and when to purposely change the conversation to something more comfortable for us.

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THRIVING THROUGH THE HOLIDAYS

If the now upon us holiday season doesn’t have you jumping for joy … you’re not alone. Here are some tips & tricks to manage the holidays on your terms.  Take some of that power back and power through with self love and compassion.

🎄 Don’t go into debt trying to show people how much you love them.

🎄 Don’t go visit your family if it compromises your mental health.

🎄 You don’t have to attend any events that might trigger you.

🎄 Just because you’ve always done it that way (tradition) doesn’t mean you have to do it that way (new traditions).

🎄 It’s ok to not be ok.

🎄 It’s ok to feel sad & not feel like celebrating.

🎄 It’s ok to feel like celebrating!

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Investing in Your Emotional Bank Account

Hollywood sure has a way of portraying love.  Romance is epic. The passion, the intrigue, the fantasy; and yet, here you are sitting with your partner talking about whose turn it is to take out the garbage.

Charming.

Your relationship is doomed to fail you conclude but I urge you to reconsider. Love doesn’t necessarily need to unfold in spectacular fashion right in front of your eyes. Instead, it is what happens behind the scenes that is not accounted for that makes the difference.

Couples who are able to turn towards each other even in the littlest of ways build an emotional savings account that can serve as a buffer against stress. Whether its comforting your partner after a long day at work or taking the time to offer praise for a task well done, accumulating wealth in your account helps sustain a positive view of your partner and your relationship even when times are trying.

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